Hello everyone. We have been in CA for over 2 weeks now and have a little over 1 week left before we head on to Hawaii and then Japan. We are overdue for an update on here, I promise you’ll get one about the CA portion eventually. But for now, I have something else to discuss.
Our cat Susannah passed away on Monday.
On Friday, my sister Candace took the cats to the vet to finally get their titer tests redone (have we explained all of that? I can’t remember) for us. No problems, but it was noted that Susannah’s blood was sluggish and a little difficult to draw. Not overly concerning. Then Candace noticed that Susannah stopped eating or drinking. She did not have anything over the weekend. And then Monday morning… she found her in a pitiful state. She rushed her to an emergency vet (which I’m not sure I even knew existed) and her pulse was half of what it should be and her temperature was so low it didn’t even register with the thermometer. After hours of IVs and blankets and care they got her well enough to run some tests.
Those tests revealed cancer. Everywhere.
She didn’t stand a chance. We gave them permission to put her down, but asked them to wait for my sister Pam to get there so someone could be with her. She almost didn’t make it that long. The vets assure us that no one could have caught the cancer; it was too aggressive, there was no chance.
It was sudden. It is awful. It is painful. We are grieving.
God has been talking to me a lot about grieving ever since we started planning this trip. I never wanted to leave my cats. I didn’t want to leave my family. I didn’t want to leave the familiar. And He told me to grieve. Grieve the good that I was worried about leaving, because that is one of the ways we can acknowledge that it is good. Grieve.
For months I have been grieving over Susannah specifically. Yes, we have two cats. Yes, I love Xena. Susannah is special. She was my (uncertified) emotional support cat. She was kitty cat best friend. In my darkest hour I reached for a hand and found a paw. I grieved when she failed her titer test the first time and I found out she would not be joining us in Japan right away. I grieved when I thought I was leaving her behind in FL. I rejoiced when I got to take her to VA with me and have an extra 6 weeks with my love. I grieved when I left her then. I did not know that would be the last time I would have with her. If I had known that, oh I would have driven her crazy. I would have carried her with me everywhere even though she hates to be carried. I would have never let her sleep because I would not have stopped petting her. Perhaps it is for the best I didn’t know.
Now, I return to what has become all too familiar a pastime for me. I grieve. Teddy grieves. Xena grieves. Poor Candace and Tim got dragged into grieving with us. Will you join us? Will you pray that comfort finds us?